In the woods

Trying to find the right moment to write won't get the writing anywhere. Trying to find the right words to write won't either. 

Trying in general doesn't really get one anywhere.

If you want to go somewhere with writing, with life, do move against that which proclaims "rightness." Challenge when inspired, take heed when called, and at any time, know that you can walk on past. 

Road signs and guideposts can help outline a path, but good stories always begin with a trip in the woods. 

Poetry :: Mobius Strip of Remembering

Learning to live in the moment only happens once. 

Right now. 

And still it keeps happening over

and over and over again.

Like a repeat loop of deja vu.

A mobius strip of remembering. 

It's the space in between

"see you later"

and

"hello again."

We think we are either moving towards or away

from something at most times, but really we are learning

and re-learning the lesson of how to be still. 

The truth and my heart

"No one ever has 'talker's block'" - Seth Godin

Yes, and in my head, there is no thinker's block either. But there is a critic's mallet. A gavel thunders down after each thought. Most thoughts. 

Sometimes.

When I try to listen for it, however, it starts to fade away, like when you catch your friend who constantly mumbles by surprise and genuinely ask, "What did you say?"

Suddenly, a voice that couldn't shut up realized it was being listened to and then clams up, unable to speak for fear of actually being heard. 

To equal out the equation, I can help my thoughts become words and become posts by forgetting that anyone might be reading this anyway. 

And if I listen to the inner judgments and innocently ask, "What did you say?" I can start to remove the barriers between the truth and my heart.

Beginning Again, Again

Every day is a new beginning, and presumably, I'll have a new thing to say. (At least that's what Seth Godin has to say about it.)

I do have a new thing to say because I always have something to say. 

Lately, I've been working on saying more by saying less. This is one of the keys to good writing. So why not try again? Every day, find something worth sharing, something worth saying. Say it in the least amount of words possible. But say it (or write it!) nonetheless.  

YOLTLO: I AM GOING TO INDIA!

This is the only appropriate title for this blog post. 

It's a funny story, this little journey to India. Let me begin by saying that I am not the most traveled person. I'm not the most untraveled person either, but I'm not affected by a chronic wunderlust like many others that I know. I love my home and I love being at home. I have never lived anywhere other than Tampa. (Yes, I was born here!) And I'm only a 20-minute drive from that home that I lived in from the time I was six-months to almost 21. 

But at the end of a particularly stressful week, one of my best friends sent me a message. She said she was planning on going to India for a wedding, and that she thinks it would be amazing if we traveled there together. Any other time, I'd be like, "I don't have time for that!" But there was another part of me that was screaming, "Get me out of here and go have fun for once!" 

I mentioned this idea to my partner when he got home, and he immediately encouraged me to do it—swatting down excuses like a pro. So, I began to look into the logistics of a plane ticket, and I checked in with my inner committee on its overall opinion. Within about two weeks, I booked the two of us a flight. My friend was working in rural Haiti at the time, on a micro solar grid (because she's a bad-ass!), so I had to do most of the flight research and booking. We were on the phone together when I decided on the final fight. Having lived with me for five years, she knows how much I stay at home. (During the time that we lived together, she traveled to, I don't know, at least three different countries on at least five trips—including to India!) As soon as we made our trip "official," she exclaimed, "I can't believe you did that."

One word Jamie, YOLO ... YO-LO.

That became the theme word for the trip. I was writing our proposed itineraries with the subject, "YOLO 2016." But then later, I realized that in India, they don't believe "you only live once."

So, I decided that it would be YOLTLO: You Only Live This Life Once. 

Learning to Lighten Up

Another way that I've been learning to lighten up is by really tidying up, which means mainly learning to discard. The book, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, has been instrumental in this process.

Yesterday, I began to work through my clothes, discarding everything that doesn't "spark joy" and only keeping what's left. It's now a joy to get dressed because I choose from only things I love. 

One of the best parts of this experience was that the clothes I discarded just disappeared! Well, what really happened was that several of my female friends brought over a surprise birthday cake for my birthday. As we stood by the almost barricade of bags by the door, I asked if anyone wanted to look through some clothes. They ended up taking every bag with them! I secretly had hoped someone would just take them off my hands, and before I knew it, the floor was clear. 

I'm beginning to believe there is magic in tidying. As we are willing to shed what is no longer a part of our lives, the universe stands up to help us in this process. By letting go, we make room for our lives as they are, not as they were or as we thought they should be. 

Turdy-Uno

I saw a friend yesterday who said, "So you are going to be "turdy-uno" tomorrow..." I like this reference to turning 31. 

Last year, it felt like a much bigger deal. Turning 30 means one is no longer in the fun-loving decade of the 20s when one was still young, beautiful, and trying to figure out the world. Transitioning from 29 to 30 felt serious, and a bit dreaded. But now that I am turning from 30 to 31, I feel not so serious at all. I see that where youth and beauty matter most are truly in the heart and that figuring out the world is a forever journey, so the things I thought were "ending" can actually never end.

So calling this birthday Turdy-Uno feels so appropriate. 

The wisest among us are also the most playful. I'm glad to be embracing age with a light and open heart. 

______

As a note, my blog from a few years ago was attempting to get to this place with the title, Not So Seriously. Check it out. I was still a bit serious back then, and glad to see I've lightened up.