Kelly and Nyssa dive into the topic of retreat, exploring why stepping back from everyday life—especially through silence and meditation—can be so transformative.

Kelly shares stories from her early Zen retreats, including a hilarious (and humanizing) fart-at-the-final-ceremony moment that shattered her assumptions about belonging, and she explains how intensive practice, noble silence, and communal practice shaped her understanding of presence.

She then contrasts group retreats with her recent largely self-directed, partly solitary retreat in Florida and North Carolina, describing how extended periods of silence help the “posse dust” of a busy life settle, revealing deeper layers of consciousness, health benefits, and a more intentional way of moving through the world.

Together, they reflect on the countercultural nature of retreat in America, the difference between retreat and vacation, and offer accessible first steps for listeners—like carving out small, daily pockets of intentional silence—so that anyone, even without a full week away, can begin to experience the therapeutic and spiritual value of stillness.

Main Topics Covered:

The fart that broke noble silence: a Zen retreat story you won’t forget
How Kelly went from “they all hate me” to “I’m part of this warm, funny sangha”
Retreat vs. vacation: why they’re not the same thing at all
What a Zen sesshin actually looks like—from 4:30 a.m. bells to crying-yourself-to-sleep naps
How a marching band inspection taught Kelly the healing power of silence
“There is no nothing”: emptiness, relationship, and Buddhist philosophy in plain language
The “posse dust” metaphor that perfectly explains what happens when you finally stop
Why sitting still is not “doing nothing” (and why our culture gets this so wrong)
Kelly’s week-long, mostly solo retreat: Airbnb in the forest + empty Zen center Zendo
The subtle ways retreat shifted Kelly’s daily life—more tears, more openness, more intention
Why screens make reality feel boring—and one simple grayscale phone hack
Practical baby steps: how to start with 10 minutes of silence a day (even with kids)
How to create a tiny “retreat space” at home, even without a spare room
What to expect when you first try sitting in silence (hint: it may feel worse before it feels better)
Why Kelly keeps going back on retreat: not just to feel better, but to understand what’s really going on here