Episode Summary:

In this episode of Being Different Together, Nyssa and Kelly introduce the practice of Real Dialogue and share the story of how they became a “demo couple” for dialogue therapy training with Dr. Polly Young-Eisendrath and the Center for Real Dialogue. They talk about why this work matters in a world of divorce, estrangement, and “neurotic polarization,” and lay out the core objectives, conscious contract, and three main skills of Real Dialogue. The conversation weaves in their backgrounds in psychology, Buddhism, religious studies, and aromatherapy, all in service of learning to stay connected, stay curious, and be different together.

Main Topics Covered:

How we became the demo couple for dialogue therapy training with Dr. Polly Young-Eisendrath in Vermont
The lineage of dialogue therapy and the creation of Real Dialogue
The mission of the Center for Real Dialogue: “make the secrets for authentic dialogue, healthy conflict, and developing our self-awareness through our differences available to all”
Why this work matters: divorce, “an epidemic of estrangement,” and a culture that’s “neurotically polarized”
The four objectives of Real Dialogue: know myself, speak and listen responsibly, end dehumanization and war, and learn from failure, defeat, and death
The Three Cs of a “conscious contract”: committing to being different together, constraining ourselves, and containing the extremes of our emotions and impulses
The three core skills of Real Dialogue: speaking for yourself, listening mindfully, remaining curious
“Why be furious when you can remain curious” as a playful mantra for working with conflict and strong emotions

Links:

Center For Real Dialogue: https://www.realdialogue.org/

Dialogue Decalogue by Leonard Swindler: https://dialogueinstitute.org/dialogue-principles