All in the Editing

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So the word on the street is that my blog posts are too long.  Or as my friend rephrased, "Its not that they are all too long, it is just that for the amount of words you are writing you are not saying that much."

Wow. Alright then.

So as I coax my confidence out of the dark corner, I thought I'd write about it. Try, try again, right?

In my contemplation on these observations I think I've realized a key point here: I avoid editing. The act of composition gets all my attention and then I want to be done with it.  In the last few years my writing practice has focused on learning to write my first thoughts, let go of the internal censor, allow my deeper voices to uncover themselves. It seems now that I forgot this is just the first step in the creating writing that I want to share.

Leaving first thoughts as first thoughts is just fine if I'm the only one reading it.  But if I want to put it out for others then it's best I clean it up a bit. I don't want to read someone else's mess. And I'm sure you don't want to either.

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We'll mark this as the beginning of my "Say More with Less" campaign and I proudly affirm that this post has been edited for your reading pleasure.

Yoga til the Break of Dawn

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I suppose that I should report on my last post about June's project of doing yoga for 30 days. Again like my last 30 day project, I didn't quite succeed in actually doing yoga everyday for 30 days, but I don't mind. I did yoga almost everyday and that was in itself transformative.

I am taking a break from 30-day projects for July, though I do feel a restless diligence that is motivating many of my actions.  30-day commitments or not, projects seem to be naturally manifesting through completion and it is quite satisfying (maybe a by-product of more yoga).  Just last night I have decided to start a project of 101 days of gratitude in a little over a month leading up until Thanksgiving.  The idea is to just acknowledge something that you are thankful for everyday. Keep a list, maybe take a picture, write a card.

But I think I've realized a little more an important lesson through my last project: Committing to something like yoga for 30 days is much bigger than that month. Its something I want in my life for the rest of my life.  The 30 day commitment helps to set a habit; its the habit I am after, less so the actual commitment.  Yoga practice lasts from now until tomorrow, then til tomorrow again.

This is a necklace I made years ago
that now rests under my bathroom mirror,
a constant reminder to just be. 


June's Project

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Time to re-cap and set new intentions:

So I began this blog at the beginning of May with the intention to write on here everyday.  During the first few days of the blog, I saw that the Sacred Tremor was also doing a 30-day project. I hadn't at that point thought about having a limited time to "write on here everyday," but after watching the TED talk about it, I decided 30 days was a good bet. And maybe I'd try to do something different everyday for 30 days. 

As you can see, I didn't write on here everyday for 30 days.  But I'm okay with that.  I at least wrote on here 17 out of 31 days, and that's just about over half... more importantly, I'm pleased with what I did write on here and am motivated to keep exploring myself publicly.  I am in the business of helping others make changes in their life and I know that means I have to do it too.  The thought here is that maybe reading about my struggles can help others; in the least, writing about it helps me. 

So my 30-day project for June is to do yoga everyday.  This means go to a class or do at least one full sun salutation.  So far through June I've done my project. We are only on day five though, so let's see what happens next week...

What is the Upward Spiral?

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This will be an ever evolving page as I work towards defining all that the term Upward Spiral evokes for me.

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In short, it is how I am conceptionalizing my inner journey.

As it turns out, Upward Spiral is also the name of my business. When I was deciding on a name for my business Upward Spiral had what I was looking for. It has a feeling of positivity, growth, and unfolding. It also is a great description of what happens in Structural Energetic Therapy, the therapeutic bodywork system I practice as the main source of my income.

I also loved how the acronym for Upward Spiral is US so I can joke that I work "for us," because I feel like I do.  The services I offer help other people in ways that help make them a better person, which makes the world around them better.  Maybe that's the upward spiral...

After I began my business, a friend of mine was reading Siddhartha and came across this quote:


“We have learned so much, Siddhartha.  There still remains much to learn.  We are not going in circles, we are going upwards.  The path is a spiral; we have already climbed many steps.”


So I guess I'm not the only one who's sees the journey this way.


Immersion

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So, I have begun a yoga teacher training and will be heavily immersed in the study of yoga for the next 6 months...and probably the rest of my life.  Part of the program is to keep a journal of our experiences; though I will be keeping a written journal as well I hope to use this platform to share some of what I learn.  I believe that what I discover will be humbling, enlightening, and centering, with surely some struggle and resistance mixed in.  But hopefully in revealing some of that here, I can help inspire others to immerse themselves within.

A few weeks ago I committed myself to going to as many yoga classes as possible. In our program we are encouraged to attend as many different classes/locations/teachers as we can. Even if we don't like a teacher or type of class, we should try it again see if its different, learning more about what is important to us in practice. Also, we will use all of our learning to deepen our own personal practices.

Currently, I am still working on integrating my own yoga practice into my free time at home, but I see ways in which I am doing a form of yoga everyday. I also know that yoga is much more than doing the physical postures and breathing exercises. They help, a lot, but help what? Help me to stay more firmly in my centered space, feel less hurried, have less of a need to get, do, want, and encourage love love love.



I am exstatic to be taking the time to delve into the deeper level of yoga practice and learn more about who I am. 


Observations

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So, it's been over a week since I have posted even though I set the intention to post everyday. This is a typical pattern for when I have set intentions to do something daily. I'm adamant then more casual which slowly slips into forgetting I set an intention at all. Well, I want to try breaking that.

Its not that I haven't had things to write about, there are things everyday. It is more about making myself sit at the computer and type, not worrying about what others may think of what I write.  If that is an issue for me, why write on a public blog?  I like the exercise in letting go of what others think and just be myself. I believe this is good work.  This kind of exposure and introspection is what I hope to encourage in others through my business so I also feel that it might be helpful for some to see that I do it too.  Plus, it makes me continue to do my inner work, a necessary element in being able to effectively inspire inner work for others.

So let me get back on the wagon...or is it off the wagon? I can never remember...

Hunger

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Last night I went to see "The Hunger Games" - though I think I need to let my thoughts on the film settle a bit more before I reflect on it, I was reminded of one of my favorite Billy Collins poems. We used to have to on the fridge, but I notice it has disappeared. Maybe someone got hungry?

Hunger

The fox you lug over your shoulder
in a dark sack
has cut a hole with a knife
and escaped.

The sudden lightness makes you think
you are stronger
as you walk back to your small cottage
through a forest that covers the world.


-Billy Collins

Happy

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While on our way to yoga this evening, my roommate and I saw this sign on the corner of Busch and Nebraska and I had to capture it in a picture.


The sign reads, "Happy Morther Day," with a happy little smiley face.  When I first saw it I was startled by a sign that wasn't advertising a house for sale or small business. I mean, how often do we see signs displaying positive messages and nothing else?  But then I looked closer and saw that it didn't quite read "Mother's Day" as we might expect. There seems to be a stowaway R and lack of a possessive S or apostrophe.  And yet, I can't help but feel that the person who made this was unaware of the divergence of the traditional message of today.  It seems like they just wanted to spread the love. 

Upon further reflection, my roommate and I both felt reminded of mortality with this extra R.  As if, on this day celebrating the person who gave us life, we should also recognize the other end of that line - our eventual death. 

So many questions surrounding this sign, the answers to which we will never know.  And somehow all of it together, helps me to just focus on the real focus of the message. Happy and today. 



Wisdom

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Yesterday I participated in a local elementary school's "Poetry Cafe" event.  All the forth grade classes had been working on writing their own poetry and each student composed a small book of their poems.  The teachers organized an event where all the classes got together for each student to share a poem from their book.  They asked a few local poets to also come in and share their work. I felt honored to be among the poets there - and I'm not just talking about the others who were asked to come, thought they were great too.    

Those forth graders really know what's up.  The honesty in their poetry is something I strive for.  I so love that these kids have the opportunity to learn value of sharing their words and I hope their inherent wisdom is affirmed for them. 

After we shared, we got to mingle with the kids a bit and here is what this one kid shared with me.  He was showing me the book he made, called, "A Poem in Every One." At the end, he wrote a little bit about himself which ended with something like, "...and don't forget, there is a poem in a every one." He made "everyone" two words, but we can just call that poetic license. I got what he meant and also told him that he is right and so so wise. 

Its not everyday that I am blown away by a 10-year-old, but I think that is more a fact of not being around them rather than their being a lack of amazing kids. Sometimes I think they know more than we do and that our knowledge is really us just trying to remember what we already knew then.