Day 79: Date Night

So things have gotten busier for me. Good, but how do I keep up? One area that has taken a hit is spending time with my boyfriend. A year ago, we spent several night a week together and even substantial time most weekends. I now consider that luxurious. Between seeing more clients in the evening (my client's most coveted times) or trying to make it to a yoga class at least one night a week, I've had less and less time to devote to my relationship.

Our solution: Date Nights. Usually nothing special, we make some dinner at home and do some good ol' couch cuddling and I am in heaven. I have come to cherish these times.  Instead of just assuming we'd be seeing each other most nights and then get disappointed when it doesn't work out for days, we decide earlier in the week which night works the best for both of us. Like an upcoming vacation, I look forward to those nights all week.

I'm not opposed to spontaneity, but for the essential things in life, I can't rely on the stars lining up all on their own. They did the big part of bringing this great love into my life, but I must do the work to keep the fires burning.

Day 71: Biking to Yoga

Well, first off I am thankful today that I finally made it back to one of my favorite yoga classes. It has been a struggle the past few weeks to make it to yoga class.  I have been getting out of work just late enough to miss most classes that I like to go to. So when my client for this evening rescheduled I said, "Yes! I'm going to yoga."

But not only did I go to yoga tonight, I rode my bike. I live only a 5 minute drive from the studio, so on bike it is a 10 minute ride, tops. With the weather cooler but not cold, this is the perfect time for an evening ride.

The class itself is a challenging one, which is why I enjoy it so much, and when I first starting attending it last Spring, I thought I'd be crazy to bike to it. Since I leave the class pooped, how would I ever get home?  But the more I went the more I found that I wasn't leaving the class exhausted, but energized.

So tonight I got home in just enough time to feed the dogs, change my clothes and grab my bike.  It was the best decision.  I feel like I used my body they way it wants to be used, needs to be used. After an hour and some of intense yoga and riding to and from I feel so


. Why don't I do this everyday?

Then I suggest to my future self: Why don't you do that tomorrow?

Day 59: Sharing my Practice

Last night during my trying-to-be-more-consistent yoga practice, I had this moment of sudden wisdom. Occasionally, a thought comes into my head that feels too weighted to just be a thought. They are thoughts that can't be shook off or easily replaced by a new thought. They are thoughts that linger, steep, find their way into every bit of my body.  These are thoughts not to be ignored. These are more than thoughts, they are truth.

So last night, as I was moving from one pose to the next, it hit me: I chose to be spiritually alone. I don't think I really know the full truth of that statement, but there is something so right and almost comforting about this realization.

Without recounting the entirety of my spiritual life, I will state simply that I've felt alone through the journey. Maybe everyone does. Maybe that is the essence of the spiritual life. Maybe that is the fate of many of us living in a secular world without a secure and solid spiritual community around us. I don't know. But what I do know is that I've always felt out-of-place in some way. I've always longed for the spiritual community that I see others have, but I am unable to commit myself fully to any particular tradition. Usually, I say I am unaffiliated, which is a more neutral way of saying, "I'm spiritual, but just not religious."

In that flash that formed in my mind last night, I saw that so much of my life has been governed by this "


" and I felt in that moment that it was not by chance or because of some wrongness with the world, but because there was a sacred choice I made when I come into this life that I would find my own path. It is amazing the power in recognizing one's choices.

Immediately after having that thought, I felt so thankful for my choice. I feel like I am free to find the divine in my own way, make up my own rituals, my own rites of passage, my own practices. I feel free instead of stranded.


I write this post in the aftermath of our second

Tea + Meditation

event. In all this aloneness, in cultivating the space within me, in my own way, I've found the profound connections this can create. Because I don't have a distinct community, all are my community. Tonight, nine of us shared a pot of tea and a moment together. All in our own space, yet we all affected the space for us all. I found myself saying, "You have a place, and that place is important." Then I hear the grandmother voice of wisdom within me whisper to the curious child beside her, "That means you too."

If I wasn't holding this space for others, those words wouldn't have emerged. They think I am leading the meditation, but I am being led too.

Day 51: Free Yoga

Did you know that you get a free yoga class at the

Lotus Pond

during the week of your birthday? I didn't until an email appeared in my inbox yesterday. So tonight I totally took advantage.

I've only been to the Lotus Pond a handful of times, mostly for kirtan (Indian call and response chanting) events. But every time, I am transported by the beauty of the space. I feel like I am away on a mountain retreat, though I'm only a few steps away from my day-to-day life.

Well, their marketing worked because I've decided that the 20-25 min. drive is SO WORTH IT. Lotus Pond, may I see you again very soon.

Day 42: I Love Yous

My yoga teacher recommended I integrate my daily gratitude with my daily yoga practice. He said fill my heart with the gratitude I feel for your daily gratitude for the day, with each breath. So today I was about to begin my yoga practice and I hadn't yet decided on what I was going to post as my gratitude for the day. Then, just like that, the answer came.

My friend that I hadn't talked to in a while called, so I decided to answer it. We spent about 10 minutes catching up and he ended the call the same way he does every time we part; he said, "I love you."

Most often I've shared those words with my parents, when parting in person or on the phone, and also some family. I also share those words with my boyfriend and a few close friends. Only recently have I started to cherish it more and more each time.

It seems like more of my friends have initiated "I love you"s within the past few years. Maybe its that I'm older and have known more people longer, or we are all more mature and know that "I love you" doesn't = "I want to have sex with you," or I'm surrounding myself with more loving people. Maybe, shmaybe, I don't really care what it is, I just want to say I love it.

Recently I initiated "I love you" with someone I feel close with but had never spoke the words in person. It felt amazing. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. <3

Day 34: Deb!

Today I had to say "See Ya Later" ("good bye" just makes me sad) to a great friend of mine, Deb Muller. Tomorrow morning she embarks on a journey to travel, work, and discover. Her and her girlfriend, Cricky, have found new homes for most of their possessions, tied up their loose ends in Tampa, and have been asking themselves what they really what to experience in this life. So they are leaving everything they know to explore their passions. We all can take inspiration from that.

Deb has been instrumental in my yoga practice the past year and a half.  When we first started to become friends she had just finished her yoga teacher training and really encouraged me to take that step in my life.  She introduced me to LeShan, the teacher I am now working with, and supported me in my slow journey to beginning the training. Deb's yoga classes have been some of my favorite to attend and have helped me a lot in my practice.

But also Deb is a friend in the truest sense of the word. Maybe its the yoga, maybe it's just who she is, and probably a little bit of both. She is one of the few people that I feel really knows how to listen.  Knowing that people like Deb are out in the world (even if it's out in the world away from where I am), I feel things are going to be okay.

Deb and Cricky started a blog to share on as they journey. Check out

The Farmer and the Yogi

. Follow them. Love them. I know I will!