Day 96: A Strong Relationship

Things have a way of getting uncomfortable real quickly, but with the right tools and a little patience, you can turn discomfort into deeper connection in no time.

My boyfriend and I had a brief miscommunication tonight and had about 10 minutes of uncomfortable-ness between us. It was a small thing that didn't need to be a big deal but we were both in a place that we got easily emotionally charged about it. Before I knew it we were both upset and neither were helping to make it better.

I have observed enough about the world to know this is not a unique scenario to only us. Every couple has moments like these, and though they are not fun, it is always an opportunity for growth. At least that is how I see it.

I am blessed to be in a relationship where we sort of have an unspoken policy: no one leaves upset. Even though that is exactly what we want to do sometimes, my boyfriend and I have a habit of staying with the discomfort, of holding on through it, of coming out the other side still loving and caring.  I believe this makes all the difference, creating a stronger bond each time.

And that's what we did tonight. It is amazing how hurt and blame can so quickly turn into love and adoration.     The next time you are in a situation that has become uncomfortable, if it is not dangerous to your well-being,  see if you can just stay with it for a bit.  If it is with someone you care for deeply, chances are those feelings will begin to trump any pains to your expectations, beliefs, or ego and you might feel your heart expand just a little more. I did and will say it was all worth it.

Day 79: Date Night

So things have gotten busier for me. Good, but how do I keep up? One area that has taken a hit is spending time with my boyfriend. A year ago, we spent several night a week together and even substantial time most weekends. I now consider that luxurious. Between seeing more clients in the evening (my client's most coveted times) or trying to make it to a yoga class at least one night a week, I've had less and less time to devote to my relationship.

Our solution: Date Nights. Usually nothing special, we make some dinner at home and do some good ol' couch cuddling and I am in heaven. I have come to cherish these times.  Instead of just assuming we'd be seeing each other most nights and then get disappointed when it doesn't work out for days, we decide earlier in the week which night works the best for both of us. Like an upcoming vacation, I look forward to those nights all week.

I'm not opposed to spontaneity, but for the essential things in life, I can't rely on the stars lining up all on their own. They did the big part of bringing this great love into my life, but I must do the work to keep the fires burning.