Back in August, I started the second annual
. The idea is to post something that you are grateful for everyday. Last year, I did this to both create meaningful daily content on my
(the key to social media success, so I hear) and to force myself to work through my aversion to social media. It worked really well! I got more fans, even had a few people join in with me, and surprised myself on how fulfilling posting things online can be.
This year has been different
. I started this project with the intention to start to create a community around my ultimate dream of creating the Upward Spiral Center for Healing and Transformation. Earlier this year, this dream started to look like a reality and I have been working hard to make it happen.
But that's a lot to juggle. The creation of the center has brought some core issues of mine up to the surface and that's caused some breakdowns and needs to withdrawal. For the past month or so, I've taken a step back from major work on creating the center, because I realized"
If I'm going to create the Center, I need to first find my own.
There is this saying in Chinese Medicine that
"one can not inspire a virtue in someone else unless they first possess it themselves."
Since I came across this thought in my Daoism and Chinense Medicine class back in 2009, it has infused much of my thoughts about work and therapy.
One basic issue for me (and I know for a lot of my clients) is essentially that
I'm not enough
And the silent belief that follows is that
no one will love me
To create the center is to affirm the opposite:
I am working to create a space for all of US to explore what our healing journeys can become
. To do this, I will need lots of love and support from my community. It can not happen with out it.
In addition to really slacking on my own gratitude posting during this year's project, I publicly admitted the other day that I miscalculated 101 Days. The intention is to lead up to Thanksgiving, but I started a week early. So its 108 days instead. Thankfully, its a symbolic number!
I've still felt alot of 'gratitude guilt' (which essentially traces back to "I'm not good enough") about neglecting my gratitude and miscalculating.
I was overjoyed at the responses I got after posting about 108 Days. You can see some on our
I had a guy write me a personal message and say:
no embarrassment needed ... I just kept thinking how is my counting wrong !?! lol its an awesome idea and has brought joy to even more people than you'll ever know ... it's fabulous and I wouldn't change a thing"
I also had a friend of mine tag me in a post:
"I am grateful for
, a great friend, and someone who has the imagination, thoughtfulness, and work ethic to do something good for her community. Or better yet, to get us to do something good for ourselves!"
How can I not feel loved and enough reading things like this? I am bookmarking this page for the next time I feel bad : )
I don't know if I can really say "ENOUGH!" to "not enough," but I'm sure gonna try. This is what I hope to inspire in others eventually at the
, but for now I'm going to continue to work on me and inspire the community I already have.
Thanks ya'll, for all your love.